What's That You Say, Mrs. Robinson?

He should have listened to his mother

I just read this story on CNN today about a guy who fell to his death while attempting to slide down the banister of an escalator.

Moms of small children, this is the story you can pull out of your hat when admonishing your youngsters to not screw around on the escalators in the mall (or wherever). This was one of my pet peeves as my children were growing up. Probably one that I was a bit overzealous about at times. You must respect the dangers of the escalator. So much can go wrong. A shoelace stuck in the crack between steps can surely drag you to your death. A mis-step as you step onto the contraption, or off of it, could send you tumbling and land you in the ER. And good lord, keep both feet planted firmly on the steps and DON'T TRY TO SLIDE DOWN THE HAND RAIL.

I'm not sure where this fear came from in me. I don't remember ever having a bad experience on an escalator. But I sure wish I had this story to point to when my kids complained that I was being a psycho about escalator safety!

Happy Graduation, Darren!

My little boy is graduating from 8th grade today. Some of you who have been reading me for a while know that this was not a slam dunk. I have posted about his difficulties here and here.

But today it is all about the celebration of getting through it all and standing smack dab in the middle of the light at the end of the tunnel. We will have family in from out of town and we will bask in the 95 degree heat of the day at 4:00 this afternoon to watch Darren put a close to what I hope will go down as the most difficult years of his life. I will take photos, yes. I did a slide show of photos showing his progress through life. If I can take that next leap into geekdom, I will attempt to post the slide show (set to Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing") to YouTube. And of course, if I am successful, I will post a link to it here.

EDIT: Here is the posting with the YouTube link

So in a few minutes I will drop Darren off at school for the last time. He has graduation practice this AM. I will park my ass in front of Starbucks to reflect on the last 4 years of Darren's schooling, and then I will proceed through the day celebrating my son.

Because he deserves it.

My---OUR---worst effing nightmares....

No words to describe these scenarios...except hell....I just don't know even what to say..

What keeps me up at night?

I know...these are both girls and I have boys...

It STILL keeps me up at night...especially now that I have a teen ager who drives AND spends the night elsewhere...but only if the situation ABSOLUTELY requires it...

Am I as protective as I want to be? NOOOOOOOO

Am I trying desperately to balance protectiveness with the odds... the need to have my teens be independent and self-sufficient and autonomous as much as possible given their age...yes...of course.

Does this still scare the HELL out of me....DUHHHH!! um yeah...

Call me at 3:30 am.....this morning...I guarantee....I'll answer the phone on the first ring....

The piercing

  The piercing 
  Originally uploaded by KRob2005.

Well, we did it. We've been talking about it for years, and now it's done.

Today I took Payton to Claire's in the mall and had his ear pierced. Today was his last day of school and he was feeling pretty adventurous so HE drove ME to the mall (I had to go to sign the parental release forms) and he had it done. He chose a medium sized CZ and I must say, it looks rather nice.

What gets me in this photo is his eye lashes. They have always been stunning and the photo really shows them off. I'm sure he'd hate that I'm saying this, but too bad, dude. Your Mom just let you get your ear pierced, so she can say whatever she wants...

Oh, and I got the other earing from the pair. It is living in my third piercing on the right side (I have 2 in one ear and 3 in the other). I wonder where he got his desire for a piercing...surely not from me.

Against all odds

An open letter-type post to my sweet boy. My 13 (almost 14, dear God) year old boy...

Times are tough my son. You are going through a time in life that is typically tough for everyone your age, yet you have additional challenges. I try so hard not to excuse you and  lower my standards for you because you have these additional challenges. Yet, in my heart, I ache for you. I know I need to be strong and consistent and stick to being the parent vs. the friend.

But because I know you won't be reading this any time soon, I feel like this is where I can tell you what is in my heart and soul, even if I can't let you see it all the time for fear that it would undermine my ability to be a mean mommy, a hard ass, the rock that I hear about kids needing but not getting.

I want to be everything for you. Everything, everyday.

There are two songs that I have listened to in the last several minutes that seem to really nail what I'm feeling for you right now.

Against All Odds - Phil Collins
Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkle

I know that the difficulties that you are facing right now seem so overwhelming. I think that you just don't know what to do. I think that you are in over your head and that you don't know what the next steps are.

Letting go of the particulars, I want you to know so much about what I'm feeling for you.

"How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all"

Sometimes I feel like you are slipping away from me. Like I just don't know what to do next to help you. I'm trying everything I know how. I'm working on trying new things. But I still feel so connected to you, like we breath together. And when you struggle, so do I. When you hurt, so do I. When you feel the desperation, so do I.

"When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. when times get rough
And friends just cant be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down."

You can be so smart, and so thoughtful and so "all that and a bag of chips." When you screw up it kills me because I know what a rock star you are. I just can't figure out what it is that makes you do what you do sometimes.

What worries me the most is that maybe you don't realize how much your Dad and brother and I love you. How much we love who you are (who you can be) and how much we love to be with you when you are at your best.

At your worst you worry the crap out of us. I don't know how much of that is your ADHD, your age (your hormones) or something else. I think it is my job to worry. My job to freak out about how boys your age with ADHD are at such a significantly higher risk for suicide. My job to defend you and advocate for you and be the one of the two people on the face of the earth who will stand by you no matter what.

Dude. Please just get through 8th grade. Please just do what it takes to get you to the next step. Your Dad and I have worked hard to make sure that your choices for high school will be better than what the middle school experience has been for you. I know that one of the choices will be very expensive, but if that is the right choice for you, somewhere where you can thrive, and be appreciated and be happy and part of a brotherhood, then I don't give a crap how much it costs. I don't care if I have to sell my car and walk to work...you WILL get what you need.

I just want to hold you and tell you that everything will be OK. That you'll be fine...not just fine, but that you will ROCK. I honestly believe that if we can find a way to get through the next 6 months, the world will be so much better for you. You need, and deserve a fresh start.

"They" say that the best things in life are also the things that you work the hardest for. I hope you know how much your Dad and I love you and how hard we are working for you. We are here for you.

I can say all of this here, because I don't have to be the hard ass here. I can fall apart here, in the blogosphere, because the people here know where I'm coming from. They are parents. Some of them have been in similar places with their kids. I need to be strong for you. I need to be consistent and maintain boundaries for you in your world.

But in this, my blogging world, I can be vulnerable and sad and angry and frustrated. I can even be weak.

In this world, and in the real world, I love you more than life. And I just need you to know that.

super duper

Superbowl Sunday is always a big day at our house one way or the other. This year it has some special meaning because it is also Payton's 16th birthday. My baby. My first born. My sweet cheeked little button nosed bundle of joy. 16. Be still, my heart.

Pictured here, I am 24 and he is about 10 months. This kid had me at hello. He taught me that my life was secondary to his. He taught me how to get up at 4:30am and somehow still make it through the day. He taught me that my heart will forever, now, be walking around outside of my body.

Until I had Payton, I don't think that I had ever really FELT my soul. I knew it was there and that it might be unleashed someday. That someday was February 4th, 1991.

And so, now on this Superbowl Sunday, when "the other Payton," Peyton Manning takes the field to play for his first ever NFL Championship, I will be cheering for him. Ever since he started playing in the NFL, we have been Colts fans. First because of the name, but now really because how can you NOT love this guy? His commercials are friggin' hysterical and he just seems like such a great guy. AND he has a little brother, just like our Payton does. Only his bro is named Eli (he plays for the NY Giants, if you don't know), not Darren.

We didn't name Payton after Peyton. Really his name just came from a baby book, but we liked the reference to Walter Payton (I was born in Chicago) and, maybe ironically, Peyton is playing against the Bears in the Superbowl! Go figure. I know, many of you are saying "Big freakin' deal." I happen to think it's kind of funny.

On this day, I will also be remembering my Uncle Bob. UBob passed away during the 2 minute warning of the Superbowl between the Rams and the New England Patriots. It was February 3rd, 2002, but it will always be the Superbowl, regardless of what the actual date is, that will remind me of his passing. I was there along with my Mom, my Aunt and my cousins to guide him into peace as he passed. We had the game on in his room in the ICU which may seem strange to some, but if you knew UBob, you know he absolutely wouldn't have had it any other way. No better way to go than while the Rams were about to lose the Superbowl. My Mom and I were SOOO glad that he didn't pass away one day later, on Feb. 4th, Payton's birthday.

But this year, those two dates merge in my mind. On this day I will remember the very first time I ever witnessed the beginning of a life and the very first time I ever witnessed the passing of one. Both incredibly precious moments that will be in my heart for eternity.   

Who would you be today, Timmy?

Tim Volkert 1988-2003

Who You'd Be Today - Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

Timmy Volkert was 15 years old when he passed away in his sleep. He had an enlarged heart that nobody knew about and it gave out on him in early December 2003. I remember that day like it was today. The entire community was punched in the gut and we didn't catch or breath for days, weeks, months to come.

Timmy was a hero, larger than life, to kids like my son who is now the same age that Timmy will always be, 15. He was a baseball superstar and could have been cocky and arrogant. But he wasn't. He was kind, a role model. When Payton was in 5th grade and Timmy in 8th, Payton remembers Timmy giving him a kind pat on the head and a "hey, what's up kid?" in in the hallway. In San Carlos there is a Tim Volkert award in Pony Baseball given each year to the kid who most exemplifies Tim's character; dedicated, positive, encouraging to other players, always a smile on his face, always willing to do whatever the team needs him to do, a leader. Tim got these characteristics from his parents. When we went to visit them shortly after Tim's passing, THEY hugged US, THEY comforted US. Not because we needed it, or asked for it, but because that's just who they were and how they were as a family.

I'll never forget that cold December night we spent on the baseball field at Burton Park with hundreds of other community members and friends of Tim's. The candlelight memorial, the kids who played songs on their guitars and sang for Tim. The kids who cried for him and the adults who were trying to stay strong for them.

When Payton heard the song "Who You'd Be Today" and said, "Mom, this is totally a song about Timmy," I realized that Tim's death is still very much a part of who he his, who we are. But even more important  than that, Tim's life is what we miss, what we strive to carry forward and carry with us every day.

Baby, You Can Drive My Car...

It's a big day. An exciting day. A frightening day. A day that will change our lives, as we know them, forever.

Payton got his driver's permit yesterday! His Dad is taking him out for a parking lot drive somewhere to let him experience the feeling of actually being behind the wheel. I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be on this day. I don't think that the real fear will hit until he is able to drive without us in the car with him. Then, everything changes.

I thought that some of the questions on the written test would be fun to share with you. Would YOU know the answers?

1) The speed limit in an alley is:
    a) 20 mph
    b) 15 mph
    c) 10 mph

2) Two vehicles are approaching an uncontrolled "T" intersection. One vehicle is on the through road and the other is on the road that ends. Who has the right-of-way at the intersection?
    a)The vehicle on the through road
    b) The vehicle on the right
    c) The vehicle that arrives first

Here is one that Payton got right, that I hope he'll never have to use:

3) You are being chased by a police vehicle with its lights and sirens activated. You ignore the warning to stop and speed away. During the chase, a person is seriously injured. You are subject to:
    a) Imprisonment in a state prison for five years
    b) A fine of not less than $1,000
    c) Attending an anger-management class
    d) Your mother crying and screaming at you and years of therapy as well as all of the above (I added that one :0)

Here are some that CLEARLY most people have forgotten about:

4) You are driving on a city street and see an emergency vehicle with flashing lights behind you. What should you do?
    a) Drive to the right edge of the road and slow down
    b) Drive to the right edge of the road and stop
    c) Stay in your lane, slow, down, and let it pass

5) When merging onto a freeway, you should be driving:
    a) At or near the same speed as the freeway traffic
    b) At the legal freeway speed limit
    c) Slower than the freeway traffic
    d) First, come to a complete stop (I added this one because clearly it was in SOMEONE'S driver's manual)

6) If you have a green light, but traffic is blocking the intersection:
    a) Stay out of the intersection until traffic clears
    b) Enter the intersection and wait until traffic clears
    c) Merge into another lane and try to go around the traffic
    d) Go ahead and block the intersection, because of course, you are the most important person out there! (again, this must have been printed in someone's book, 'cause you know it happens all the time).

Here are the answers:
1) B
2) B
3) D (no, A really)
4) B
5) A (really, people...don't stop!)
6) A

Here are some links to some interesting teen driving blogs/posts/sites:

Safe Teen Driving Blog
AAA Parent/Teen Driving Agreement
Arkansas Blog: Teen Driving
The Car Blog
Article on the Autos Insider
Author urges parents to play a bigger role in helping young drivers stay safe

MotherPie on the changing faces of Moms

We're talking about motherhood (and parenthood in general). MotherPie talks here about the $tuff of Motherhood and Moms. OK, so it's a shameless link back to a post that links to my last post about the menu for the week. But it's also really great stuff. She talks about the shifting sands of priorities and how and what we are teaching our children. What was easier and more expected 20 years ago from Moms is different than it is now. That's not news to anyone, but is important to acknowledge that the adaptations we have had to make are actually valuable and in some ways an improvement over the past.

We need to not only teach our kids about their past, but we need to think about what will be important for them to know for their futures. Technology is changing the face of everything we do (even cooking for and with our families) and I, for one get excited when I learn to use a new tool, or find a new source of information to share with my family. We are growing more connected, and less connected at the same time and finding a way to balance that is a challenge. On one hand I love that I can IM my kid from work at 3:30 in the afternoon on his Sidekick to ask him how his day was, on the other hand I sometimes get irritated that he holding 5 different IM conversations while we are headed to the mall together.

MotherPie states: "$mart moms are those who can make $ense in connecting children to the past and future." and I couldn't agree more.

Back to School: A non-event

Yesterday, Darren started school; the first day of 8th grade. Kind of a big year. You know, big man on campus and all. I kept waiting for the anxiety (his AND mine) to set in, but it just didn't seem to happen. Payton started a couple of weeks ago as a Sophomore. No major issues.

We did a bit of school clothes shopping, but didn't really need anything. I just felt like I needed something to get me in the mood (like shopping the day after Thanksgiving to get into the Christmas hustle and bustle mood).

Backpacks? No, low and behold both kids took pretty good care of the ones they had last year (nobody put a banana back in the pack after lunch, spilled juice or left some other decomposable items at the bottom of the pack). Neither felt like it was shameful to show up to class with the same pack as last year. Savings=about $140. Brilliant.

So off to school. "Darren, where do you want me to drop you off?" See, in previous years the drop-off place of choice changed depending on where it was cool to do so. This year, "I don't care; wherever it is easier for you."

Are you freakin' kidding me?

Payton is using some of the same binders he did from last year and he, voluntarily, bought a used lock for his locker at school. Total savings=$20.00. I know not a huge deal. It's the principle of the thing.

I keep waiting for the big bomb to drop. A panic attack that there is some pair of shoes that one of them must have, the $150 in supplies needed for some class. Something. Anything...but still, no.

Long gone are the days of day one anxiety and must haves. Oh, wait. Darren starts high school next year. This must just be the calm before the storm.

Summer Lovin'

My 13 year old has a girlfriend.

For the first time ever. She is the first girl that has ever shown an interest in him and he is LOVING IT! The good news is that she lives with her Mom out of state and is just here for the summer (read: going home in a few days) and is just here for the summer with her Dad. Don’t get me wrong, I am THRILLED that she has shown an interest in him. His self-esteem has sky-rocketed. It is, however, nice that his focus can return to school when it needs to.

It has been a huge effort to accomodate all of the things he has wanted to do (movies etc.) while maintaining some order and balance in his life. I hear the song “Summer Lovin’” in my head as they are preparing to part company. It has been hard to “keep him real” to the fact that he is 13. How “serious” can it be… really. But I remember having a big summer crush at that age and it feels just as serious and real as anything else. I want to take him seriously while keeping things in perspective. His feelings are real.

His voice is also changing. He is my youngest and the sound of sweet little voices is gone from the house. I now have very sweet big voices in my life. They melt my heart every day. It’s just these damn hormones that keep things changing!

Stay tuned for the trials and tribulations of my oldest getting his driving permit in the next couple of weeks.

Tags, Planes and School

I LOVE what TypePad has done to make Technorati Tags easier to use! Instead of having to find, cut and paste the html code into my posts, I can now just type the words into the nice little field at the end of the compose page. It just doesn't get any easier than that. It's not often that something happens out of the blue to make your life easier. Oh what a joyous day. Are you with me?

The summer is winding down. Thoughts of school are starting to creep into reality. Filling out emergency forms, buying books, getting schedules, buying yearbooks, buying clothes. Buying, buying, buying. A surprise bonus for this school year for us...both boys managed to keep their backpacks in really great shape last year so we won't need to buy either one a new pack! That will save us at least $100. But pretty soon our crazy days of movies and golfing and flying around the country will be gone and the structure of schedules and homework and games and meetings will take over. I don't know if I'm happy about that or not.

My 29th 39th birthday is this Saturday. I've been really trying to ignore it, although if you ask me directly I don't think it is any big deal. My Mom was a grandmother at 41. SHUT UP! Really. Technically, I could be too, but highly unlikely. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, keep it in your pants.

Had to put Payton on a plane up to Washington by himself last Saturday. It doesn't get any easier for me to do that, although I do love that he can find his way around an airport by himself. It didn't feel right staring at that Orange Terrorist Threat Level at the security check point though. "Terror threat level high" and I'm putting my kid onto a flying bomb. Nice. I know that's all emotional, but it's there. I'm dealing with it. He got there safe and sound, of course. He flies home Friday and then his little brother gets on a plane on the following Monday. I managed to work their trips so that they would both be home on my birthday. I honestly don't remember planning it that way when I was booking the flights; I'm sure it wasn't a total accident.

Yearbook season

My son just brought home his freshman-year yearbook and "smack me in the face with the memories" it was fun to look through. I envy his experience right now. Next year won't be the "small man on campus" situation. He's looking back at a great year and looking forward to 3 more years of high school. He is both excited about finishing out his fist year and sentimental about the time that has passed.

"The year went by so fast, Mom. I can't even believe it" he says. No shit, dude. Wait until you are 38 and your kids are freekin' teen agers. Then tell me about how fast time is passing.

Oh, yeah, did I tell you that D is 13 now? TWO teen agers in the house. Shoot me (or at least buy me 2 cases of wine) now. What happened to the two in diapers? What happened to T-Ball and Kindergarten?

I am now the shortest person in the house. I am outnumbered and out sized. The testosterone is RAGING and all I can do is go with the flow. Most of it is fun and I love it. Some of it sucks (like the smell of the bodily functions). Why am I wearing so much pink right now? Why do I pay more attention to earrings and my nails and whether or not their are flowers in the house?

BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO CREATE BALANCE IN THE WORLD AND RIGHT NOW THERE IS AN IMBALANCE BETWEEN THE YING AND YANG!

Dude!

Think about how you drive

As Payton is about 4 months from getting his learner's permit (**gasp**shreek**), I find myself seeking out advice. The best way to teach your kids MANY things is to lead by example. I am noticing my driving habits more and and more these days. I also found this great article on ClubMom that helped me think about the obvious (which is not always easy to do!):

Driving by Example By Jayne O'Donnell http://www.clubmom.com Want your children to grow up to be skilled, safe drivers? Point them in the right direction by setting a good example. Whether your kids are tots or teens, the driving habits they see in you may someday become their own.        Teach "no tailgating." Tailgating is one of the easiest—and most destructive—bad habits to fall into, especially in the stop-and-go, slow-go traffic that typifies both city and suburb. Try to develop a formula for determining a safe distance between yourself and the vehicle just ahead. One simple measure: Pick out a landmark, like a billboard or an overpass, on the road ahead. Wait for the car ahead to pass it. You should be able to count off three seconds before you go by.    Watch yourself in lots. The folks who create lab-rat mazes have nothing on the designers of modern mall parking lots. The temptation to cut across lanes and dart in and out of the traffic pattern seems irresistible. But don't. Drive slowly, stay patient, and be extra alert to the pedestrians and other drivers who surround you.   Yield at yield; stop at yellow. You probably learned both of these rules way back in Driver's Ed. And you probably forget to observe them every so often. But the results could be disastrous, especially if you slide through a yellow light and get T-boned by a T. rex-sized sport-utility vehicle jumping the gun at the other light.   On the right path. If you're driving below—or even just at—the speed limit, the right-hand lane is the best place for you. It seems more drivers than ever are busting speed limits and weaving in and out of traffic to get past those who aren't. Driving the limit, while legal, can cause traffic jams, frayed tempers, and uncontrolled bouts of hyperactive lane-changing by the speeders behind you. Leave the left lane (and the troopers) to them.    Forward, drive! Unless you absolutely have to (backing out of a parking space, for example), don't drive in reverse. It's too easy to lose control of your car and have it spin out if you go too far or too fast backwards. If you miss a turn, keep going forward, turn, and circle back when it's safe.        Pay attention. Driver distraction, which includes everything from talking on a car phone to fiddling with the CD player, is a huge traffic safety issue. In fact, studies have shown a correlation between car phone chat-ups and accidents. Keep your mind and eyes on the road, and that means, with the exception of emergencies, staying off cell phones. If you need to make a call, or change that CD, wait until you find a safe place to pull over.   ClubMom's AutoPro, Jayne O'Donnell, is a Washington, D.C.-based reporter (and new mom!) whose automotive expertise and investigative reporting skills have helped break some of the biggest auto-safety stories of the past several years.   Copyright © 1999-2004 ClubMom, Inc. All rights reserved.

A taste of the single life

I have always been very sensitive to the plight of the single parent. When I know that one of the parents in the community is a single parent, I always go out of my way to be the one to drive places, not asking the single parent to drop my kid off or pick their kid up from my house. I know, at some level, that they deal with stresses and difficulties that I just don’t have to deal with.

At least not on a daily basis.

This week, however, I am a temporary single parent. My husband is traveling with his Dad and that leaves me with the boys. Now, granted, my boys are 12 and 15. Not so hard. Except that they both have baseball every day, games or practices, in two different places but mostly at the same times. Meanwhile, I have a job, a career actually, that is in high gear. I am blessed with friends and neighbors who are helping out, but holy cow!

This afternoon my 15 year old sent me an IM that informed me that he has to build an air car for a project that is due….drum roll please….you guessed it….tomorrow! I get this while I’m at work, feeling lucky that both baseball games were canceled, but NO! Now I’m feeling the pressure to come through. Actually I’m fighting myself, part of me wants to say, “Too bad, dude! You should have told me this before! You knew about this before today. You’re just screwed!” But the part of me that wants to kick ass and get stuff done this week, all on my own, was on the phone to the nearest hobby store to see how late they were open.

We made it there at 5:45, they close at 6:00. And we bought the last propeller kit they had in stock. We then bought some wheels and the little do-hickies that go with the wheels and some rubber bands and we were on our way. Then it was back to the house to try to find a body for the car and then put it all together. It was a great bonding experience for us. We figured it out together. Thank goodness that tomorrow is only a “first run” trial because although the thing is put together and all of the parts move, the damn car doesn't’t move when you wind it up.

But then if it were perfect the first time around, what would he have to learn in class tomorrow?

Mission complete. Project done. Dinner cooked. Homework done. Kid #1 in bed. Kid #2 watching the Cuba vs. Japan baseball game with me while I blog this.

The sun will come out, tomorrow!

TAGS: air car, Single Parent, Science Project

On My Own

Hubby is off on a road trip with his Dad, so I'm single-momin' it this week. Piece of cake except for trying to get both kids to and from practices and games every day in two different places but at the same time while still trying to hold down a career.

Laundry is done, groceries are bought, dinners planned, dishes clean, dogs happy. Now I just have to call the 57 different people who are helping me with logistics to confirm when they are doing what and what the plan B will look like (in case of rain etc.). Don't know how you single moms do it.

Oh, I bought lots of wine at the store, for when I have completed my days and am ready to sit down with my latest read, "Powerful Times" by Eamonn Kelly.

A kiss for luck and we're on our way...We've only just begun.

I'm Feeling Important Today

There is no job more important than being a parent...this I believe. Check out this piece written by a man who says he owes everything he is to his mother. It is a beautiful story of values and teaching and a reminder of how our jobs as parents are the most critical ones we will ever have. Not just for our own kids, but for the world.

It's not Mother's Day or Father's Day, but EVERYDAY is the right day to feel a sense of accomplishment and joy about our big jobs. Here are some of the reasons why I feel like I have played an important role with my 12 and 14 year old boys:

1. Neither of them has a drug or alcohol problem (yet). I say "yet" because I know that they are still young. I feel like they have a good start in being able to deal with those kinds of issues. My 14 year old has been in at least one situation where he could have taken a shot of tequilla, and didn't. I know this because one of the other boys who did, told me about it. I also feel a sense of accomplishment that one of the other boys felt like he could talk to me about it.
2. Both of my kids know how to do their own laundry and they can both scramble a mean egg.
3. A parent (one who has known my 14 year old since he was 5) approached me specifically to tell me what a gentleman he thought my son was. He said that my son was one of the most kind and good-natured kids he knows (and we know a lot of really GREAT kids).
4. My 12 year old loves kids and has a very nuturing way about him. He enjoys being with his younger cousins and generally doesn't view hanging out with the younger kids in the family a drag. He loves to hold babies and is interested their development.
5. They both still give me un-provoked hugs in front of their friends.
6. Their friends sometimes give me hugs, too.
7. They love and value their grandparents and aunts and uncles as evidenced by their choices to be around the house when the family visits rather than being with their friends (most of the time).
8. While they are both very much into modern and old-school rap, they also love John Lennon, Van Halen, The Eagles, Luther Vandross, Led Zeppelin, Janet Jackson and Jimi Hendrix.
9. Neither of them can even IMAGINE being LA Dodger Fans. 

Ok, so that last one was just for fun (but it is also true).

 

parenting

Just like a prayer

I was thinking about going to Mass this Sunday. We have never gone to Mass as a family. This is our first real High School Event as Payton goes into Serra High School (an all boys Catholic school). So anyway, as I was thinking about it, it dawned on me.

This is brilliant.  What better way to kick off these sometimes frightening years than to get down on my knees and to pray to the powers that be for help, support, guidance and mercy.

So, dear friends, this Sunday I will don my finest apparel, march myself into the school chapel, get down on my knees and pray that the universe will be kind to my son (but not too kind because he needs to know REAL life), watch over him and keep him from doing anything too stupid (he'll be driving this time next year).

Amen.

BAD, BAD Mommy

The good news is that my younger son made the Little League All-Star team for the second year in a row! Nicely done, D. You have had a tough year and you have worked hard and you deserve this.

The bad news is that hubby and I are supposed to be up in the City (SF) for the weekend. Our first such time away together since last summer. When my sweet D called me today to say "guess what Mom? I made the All-Star Team!" I cried. I cried because I heard the pride in his voice and saw all of his hard work during the season come to fruition. I cried because I'm making the decision to miss the game and I feel really shitty about it. I cried because there aren't 5 of me to be all the places for all the people I want to be there for at the same time on any given day. I cried because I was crying. And I cried because I was at work at the time!

I know, I can hear all of you. You deserve a break. Your marriage is important and it deserves some attention, some celebration also. My marriage is an All-Star, soon to be Hall-of-Famer someday. I agree. You're preaching to the choir. That's logical. This feeling is one of guilt and of genuinely wanting to be there to see D play. He was the starting pitcher for the All-Star game last year. He rocked. He kicked ass and took names. He may do the same thing this year (or not) and either way, I won't be there to see it.

But I will be frolicking in one of the most beautiful cities in the world with my sexy, wonderful, funny, sweet hubby. I guess it could be worse :0)

Oh yeah, did I tell you that I'm flying out of town for a conference on Father's Day morning? More guilt to come. All self-inflicted of course.

Shakespeare, Ralph Lauren and sweet cheeks

I have been shamelessy absent and missing this world of the blog so much. My life is crazy right now (as all of yours are as well, I'm sure) and I just haven't found time to do things for myself. I hate that and I vow to fight it hard.

I am a lover of all things trivial, so I'd like to share some things with you. Did you know that it is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear. Yes way!

Also, did you know that Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz? I'd have changed my name, too.

My 14 year old son had to shave for the first time the other night. He had these random long, dark hairs growing out of various parts of his neck, right under his chin. He wouldn't let me take photos of him shaving for the first time, but he couldn't get me to promise not to blog about it. I'll have to make a special point to somehow touch his soft cheeks as much as I can before they start getting invaded by whiskers. I hope he doesn't think I've lost my mind. Those cheeks have been so soft and so sweet for 14 years and I'm going to have to cherrish every last minute of them. Please don't lock me up!