What's That You Say, Mrs. Robinson?

Lovely Day

Waking up in Mexico, day three.

I love how I can tell where I am first thing in the morning by the sounds I hear. Those sounds have changed drastically over the past six months. In San Carlos it was mockingbirds, scrub-jays, Caltrain, and sometimes the neighbor chatting with her cat. In Gig Harbor it was Canada geese, Bald Eagles, leaf blowers and boats. In Colorado it was, well...it was pretty quiet other than the occasional footsteps overhead (the guest room was in the basement). 

Here in Sayulita, Mexico it starts with the puppies barking. There is an animal shelter right across the road and they wake with the sun. That may sound annoying but we love dogs and they aren't too loud and it only lasts a short while. Then there is the neighborhood rooster who also isn't too loud and is at least a few houses away. The rooster and the burro seem to wake at approximately the same time, so he/she hee haws a few times to ensure we are ready to start the day. The sun doesn't come up until about 8am here so the animals waking with the sun doesn't feel intrusive. There are also the occasional vehicle noises as people make their way to work and school. If it has been raining, which it almost always has as it is rainy season here, there is also the sound of water rushing down the riverbed adjacent to our home and the passing vehicles splashing through the puddles. The wild parakeets don't seem to start moving around and making noise until later in the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snapshot in time for this morning: 

• After having a fresh papaya and cup of coffee for breakfast, Dan is walking to the nearby pharmacia to purchase something to help unclog the wax in his ear created by dunking his head underwater in the pool over and over. These are the hazards we face and yes, Dan has started drinking coffee.
• I had to sweep a cricket out of the house first thing this morning and while doing so also swept a slug off of the porch. So far my critter management game has been strong. We are only day three, though. I have yet to be truly tested.
• The neighborhood cat is staring at me through the bushes. We have, not so creatively, named it "gato blanco." This is to compliment the dog who lives down the street who we have named "perro blanco." 
• I write this while sitting on the back patio listening to all of the sounds mentioned above and the song that inspired this post:

Hasta luego

Don't Let the Day Get Away

With less than 2 weeks between today and our trip to London and Paris, I could easily be just marking time. Counting the days and going on auto pilot until the magical day.

Life is too short for that nonsense. Yes, I'm counting the days. I'm also enjoying the beautiful Northern California sunshine. Filling my hours with music and books and great friends. Today is today and it is the greatest gift I have been given.

Snacking on summer peaches and nectarines, listening to Kenny Chesney sing about guitars and tiki bars, all in the name of carpe diem. The sun on my shoulders and the memory of a wonderful dinner with close friends from last night remind me that although I may have great things coming in the future, I also have beauty around me right here, right now.

Download 2-04 Guitars And Tiki Bars

And this random photo is just that. It is one of the very few photos of my tatoo taken on Lanikai Beach in Hawaii a few years ago. I just like it.

 

Closer I Am to Fine

"I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. " - Indigo Girls

I'm about to turn 46 and I've had some turbulent years in terms of "finding myself." What I didn't know then is that I didn't need to find myself. I was there all along. I just needed to strip away all of the bullshit that was floating around in my head and listen to my soul for a while.

"Oh, THERE you are."

"I was here all along. You just forgot where I was and what I looked like."

"I remember now. Nice to see you again. Let's hang out for a while."

"Deal. I'm not going anywhere without you."

What will I bring?

A wise woman, with whom I was having lunch today, gave me a great suggestion in preparation for meeting my dad for the first time later this evening.

She suggested that I spend a few minutes either in my head or on paper thinking about not what I was expecting out of our meeting, but rather about what I wanted to bring to the moment. What kind of energy am I going to possess? Center myself around my inner being and visualize where I want to be after all is said and done, regardless of what actually transpires. I'm doing this here in real time, so bear with me.

I want to bring an energy that is open to whatever needs to happen. Energy that is whole and not broken because that is who I am at the very core. I am not looking to be healed, I am not looking for answers to any questions. I am simply open to the human being in front of me and learning who and how he is. If we only have the few moments in front of us and nothing further, that that's OK. If we find a connection and share a part of our lives moving forward, then that's OK, too. It will unfold as it should.

I want to bring acceptance and understanding and vulnerability. I want to bring joy and abundance because I have so much of both.

I don't have expectations about the outcome, but I am visualizing how I want to be at the end of this weekend:

I will come away from this experience as whole as I entered it. I may be exhasuted, I may be invigorated, but either way, I will be whole. I will be richer for having experienced this time with this person. I will grow somehow closer to those that are already so close to me because we will have had this experience together. I will learn something from this person and this experience. I don't know what that is yet, but I will.

I will feel whatever I feel, and I'll be a better person for it.

 

The Art and The Joy

Although it has been brewing for quite a while, I have recently felt a resurgence for wanting to do more cooking. Not just the regular stuff. New stuff. Trying new recipes and techniques and actually picking up some skills is what is really appealing to me right now.

It is highly likely that this cooking bug has been fueled by my recent trip to Italy and France. The food in both places was TO DIE FOR and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I also feel the need to get into the classics rather than just looking for fun recipes on-line the way I usually do. There is something about working from a good cookbook that just feels right.

I have a copy of The Joy of Cooking written by Irma Rombauer (her family also makes my favorite chardonnay). Actually, I have two copies. One that my Mom gave me in 2006 (the 75th anniversary edition) and the copy she got when she was married back in 1970. Sadly, I must admit that other than looking to it for a few basic technique questions, I haven't used either much. Today, however, I can't pull myself away from it as I'm discovering all of the treasures inside. From 'Sweet Potato and Peanut Stew' to 'Skillet Corn Bread' to 'Spicy Chinese Slaw', there seems to be an endless suply of delicious things to work on.

What I don't yet have is the quintisential Mastering the Art of French Cooking by the immortal Julia Child. Have no fear, I bought a copy yesterday on eBay that was printed in 1967 which is also the year I was born. I should have it in my hot little hands in the coming week. I wanted a used copy instead of a new one. I think, perhaps, they have more soul.

I aspire to get straight to work on that one by attempting the crown jewel, boeuf bourguignon. Julia's boef bourguignon. Yes, I saw the movie. Several times. J'adore. I figure, why not? If I can do that, I can do a lot of things. I will NOT however be trying an aspic or boiling lobster any time soon. I wouldn't want to eat either once cooked, so why waste my time? I'm sure there are plenty of other treats between the covers.

And yes, this indulgence is enabled in large part by my continued sabbatical. It's October 9th and I'm still taking time off.

Bon appétit!

Once again, the blogosphere is.....graced

Please join me in welcoming (back) Grace Davis to the blogosphere with her new blog "graced." 

I first met Grace back in the early 2000s when we worked together at a small biotech start-up. She was a trailblazer in the mommy-blogger world with her gem, "I'm Dr. Laura's Worst Nightmare." Over the years, she evolved, along with her blog and for the past many years has been sadly absent from the blogosphere. 

Miss Davis was the dear soul who introduced me to the world of blogging. When I left the company where we both worked in 2004, she gifted to me a year of my TypePad fees so that I could start my own blog and have an outlet for my writing. I still can't thank you enough, sister Grace.

So imagine my utter delight and surprise when I woke up this mornig to a facebook post from Grace that she had started a new blog. I'm so glad to be able to share this with you. I know you will love this dear woman as much as I have over the years. 

Welcome back, Grace. How I've missed you so.

Sitting on the runway, engines reved and ready to go

I find myself feeling like a jet airplane today; full of fuel, a pilot at the helm, and on the tarmak with engines blazing and shaking slightly with all of the energy that I'm holding on to. Waiting for just the right moment to release the break and hit the throttle, I sit here ready as ever for take-off.

Background:

I have been at my current job for about seven and-a-half years. In three more weeks, I will come to the end of my journey here and will launch fully into a discovery and experimentation phase. In January I musterd up some courage and decided to leave this amazingly wonderful job that I have called home for so many years. It was a tough decision, but from the moment I made it I knew with every fiber of my being that it was the right one.

It's funny how sometimes you just KNOW something so completely.

In the past several months I have begun to ready myself for this new journey. Using the right side of my brain more predominantly than ever before, I have taken photography classes, started drawing and keeping an art journal, began writing more than ever before, and just generally giving life to that side of me.

Dan thinks I'm the "crazy pen lady" based on how many different colors of pens I keep on me at any give time and on my constant doodling and drawing while watching TV. I just can't seem to get enough color or creativity in my life right now. It's like I was stranded in the desert for so long and am now kneeling beside an ample oasis and drinking in every last drop.

One might ask, "For what purpose?" Honestly, I'm not exactly sure yet. What I AM sure of is that it gives me energy, clarity and space to think about other parts of my life. That doesn't mean I have all the answers because heaven knows there are things in my life that I'm still struggling with and trying to solve. It does mean that I feel, more than ever, like my authentic self.

And there doesn't need to be any other purose than that.

On that day, at the end of June, when I walk out of the building for the last time, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be blaring the theme from Top Gun in my car with the sunrooof open and my shades on and my hair blowing and I'll be smiling and feeling like I "feel the need....the need for speed!"

Let's just hope I don't get a ticket on the way home (or wherever I'll be headed....).

A little time for me

 

Carpe diem....had to drop a co-worker off to pick up her car at 4pm and rather than go back to the office, I decided to take some time to sit with myself and just be. I took myself to my favorite wine bar, found a table outside and ordered a delicious flatbread and some chardonnay. I opened my journal and did some writing and enjoyed the afternoon. The whole exercise took exactly one hour and I felt very refreshed and relaxed. How often do we take these opportunities to pull back and just spend time with ourselves? Not often enough.

Taking Photos, Sharing Joy

I just signed up for an on-line photo "class" of sorts called SuperHero Photos. It is done by the same inspirational person who writes the SuperHero Journal. The course is several weeks long and is meant to help the participant see things differently and try new ways of taking photos. It's less of a technical "how to" and more of a "open your mind and your heart and capture what you see."

I'm also participating in HopeLab's Joy Campaign which is a 6 month endeavor to create and spread joy in celebration of their 10th anniversary. Because why wouldn't you want to create and spread joy?

There are interesting possibilities in the combination of these two activities and I look forward to sharing them with you here. I'll be posting my photos on flikr, with commentary and links here.

I'll need help along the way with some of the exercises that the photo class will be giving me, so prepare yourself. I hope that I can spread some joy in your world!

To begin this adventure, I'd like to share with you a favorite photo of my grandfather who knew how to find joy in every moment like no other person I've ever known. He knew how to have fun and how to make others feel special about themselves. I like that brand of joy.