Day One:
I woke to the sound of Canada Geese at 9:19am.
Two things about this are remarkable to me. The preparation for the move we made yesterday has been exhausting. Although Dan has done most of the work for the past many months, the last week of packing up or disposing of twenty five years of living has been physically hard for me. I can still feel the effects of my chemo treatments; the fatigue, foot pain, and lack of physical movement and stamina are clear and present reminders of what I just went through. After waking yesterday at 5:30am and a twelve hour drive, I fell asleep just a little after 10pm last night. I drifted off, no, crashed hard while listening to the sound of the water lapping against the bulkhead and slept straight through until 9:19 this morning. A long, well-deserved, deep sleep.
And the Canada Geese. I always feel weird calling them that. Feels like it should be Canadian Geese. Either way, they are a sound I would not have heard waking up in San Carlos. Crows, song birds, a train, a helicopter, maybe even Seagulls were part of my morning soundtrack there. The sound of Canada Geese in the morning is a signal that Toto is not in Kansas any more.
It is these kinds of signals that I want to be present for. Signals that remind me where I am. That I'm no longer where I have been for the last twenty five years. That things are different. Really different.
Not because I don't like where I was. I loved it very much. And now it's time for different. I want different and I want to spend each day awake to what is new and to feel the new chapters of my life unfold just as they should.
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