What's That You Say, Mrs. Robinson?

What have you done for the good of the group today?

Stardate March 17, 2020

Captain's Log:    COVID-19 Shelter-In-Place Day 1

I've always wanted to do that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

Information and insights into the virus itself is available everywhere. I don't need to document that here as well. Google it (this is a note to my future self more than anything).

Waking up this morning in a bizzarro world. The entire Bay Area is in a shelter in place situation. How people react to this new reality is a social experiment providing insights into ourselves and each other if we pay attention. 

I'm paying attention. 

Leading up to this we've seen a hoarding and stockpiling mentality that is a bit troublesome. It highlights those who center around fear. The "OMG if I don't have massive amounts of this thing I'm not going to be able to get it later and I might die" kind of fear. I'm not making fun of people who think and feel this way. I'm observing it and if any judgement is rendered it is one of sadness. I'm sorry you feel that. I'm sorry that for some reason you are so afraid and have so little faith in your neighbors, community, and society that you think you will be alone and unable to survive. 

That is not the world I want to live in. And it's a world that I refuse to live in. If, in fact, this turns out to be the apocalypse and people with guns come bursting through the door to steal what I have and I don't survive, then so be it. You can have that world. Adios. I've seen this mentality pop up in memes recently and it doesn't scare me. It truly breaks my heart.

The opposite reactions are also happening and thankfully, they are the more abundant right now. Or maybe the people I have chosen to connect with as my community are inherently more compassion oriented. The Ubuntu people. 

I am, because we are.

I see people offering to help each other. Our realtor up in Washington has put out repeated offers to run errands, do grocery shopping and deliver to people who can't get out to do things like that. Another friend has offered free coaching sessions, using her incredible talents to help people work through how to manage. A local therapist offering the services of her group of counselors, at little or no cost, to help people who need professional mental health assistance and bins of food in the waiting room if you need that kind of help also. Neighbors asking each other as we pass by on our walks "How are you doing? Do you need anything?"

The father of a dear friend of ours used to ask his family and friends each day "What have you done for the good of the group today?" Let me repeat that:

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR THE GOOD OF THE GROUP TODAY?"

Define "group" however you like. Your household. Your extended family. Your neighborhood. Your town. Your co-workers. Your country. Your world.

Now, more than ever, asking this question and seeking to answer it in meaningful ways is critical to our ability thrive. The what you've done may be big, it may be small. And I'll offer this: doing things for other people out of the kindness of your heart is good for YOU. There is all kinds of science that shows that doing things for other people increases our own happiness and sense of well-being. I've experienced this first hand when I've felt particularly sad and blue. One tiny little gesture of kindness toward another really does lift your spirits. 

This is the world I choose to live in. The one I choose to create. 

Won't you be my neighbor?

 

 

Weekend in San Diego

I'm taking a break this weekend (loooong weekend, 4 days) to spend some time with a high school buddy of mine in sunny San Diego. We have been best friends since our Freshman year at Monta Vista High School in Cupertino. Between the two of us we now have 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl, ranging in ages from 10 to 17 and have been married a combined 33 years. It's amazing how different we are now, but yet we are still very much the same in many ways.

We will spend most of our time together having lattes and going out for meals and shopping...all the while talk, talk, talk. These are the times that I hold on to when I am feeling disconnected and swamped by day to day life. I have always dreamed about living next door to this friend. We would do well with that. Not everyone would. We are enough alike to make it easy and yet are different enough that it would be exciting and interesting without getting boring.

The sun is shinning; it is in the 70's. We may hit the beach, even. The reality is that none of that matters. We could just be locked in a borring room together for days and wouldn't know the dif.

Haagen Dazs with my chica!

  Haagen Dazs with my chica! 
  Originally uploaded by KRob2005

Here is the nice thing I did for myself this week. I had dinner with one of my very best friends, Becky (aka Becky's Bizzaro). After Kung Pao chicken and string beans at P.F. Chang's at the Stanford mall, we walked around and caressed the Coach bags at Bloomie's and tried on some kick ass granny glasses at a trendy accessories store.

The icing on the cake was when she treated me to Haagan Dazs ice cream on a cone. I had the Bailey's Irish Cream and she had mint chip.

Nothing like hangin' with your homie on a beautiful summer's night.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Skinny Pants

The blogosphere has once again demonstrated it's kindness and usefulness to me. While I have been chronicling my recent weight loss you have all been so supportive in so many different ways. One of my Woolfcamp comrades, Debra Roby, has also shed some pounds in the recent months and has skinnied out of her size 12 jeans (pictured here).

Now, this is wonderful enough, mind you. However miss Debra has taken it one step further. SHE SENT ME HER PANTS! I arrived home from work one day last week to a wonderful package in my mailbox (don't you love when you get something other than bills and junk?). It was the traveling skinny pants.

Not only are these pants in the size that is next on my way down to a slimmer me, but they comply with my "no more Mom jeans" rule. They are a nice low-rise variety and they also have some stretch in them. PERFECT. I could feel the good karma that came with them as soon as I put them on....

So here I am (sorry the lighting isn't the best) in the skinny pants. A size 12...the size I haven't seen in about 6 years. I love them, and I will take good care of them until it is time to send them on to one of you. I hope to soon be holding out the waistband on these puppies just Debra is doing in the first photo.

In the mean time...I was on the treadmill EVERY day this week. I got my ass out of bed early and spent 30-45 minutes walking every day. It felt soooo good and I will be making this party of my daily routine...for life. I took Saturday off (however I did walk to my son's baseball game instead of driving), and today I'm going to fit in a good hour (I like to do the 5k program as a stretch day, something to push me hard).

I also hope to be posting our menu for the week later on today...so stay tuned. Busy busy day!

Holiday Party at the Mission House

It was another successful party at Chez Robinson (AKA the Mission house). The number of people we had (about 40 - 45 at any given time) was perfect. You know, just enough to be "hoppin'" but not enough that it was uncomfortably crowded. The first few hours were on the quiet side with lots of conversation and eating and general holiday cheer. Then around 10 ish we turned up the volume and started the dancing. Most folks in our circle of friends are big dancers and we always have a blast together.

As you can see there were many smiles all around and lots of folks gettin' their groove on! The ambiance was much better than this photo shows. It was pretty dark with lots of Christmas lights all around. The flash wipes all of that out, but at least you can see the beautiful faces! More photos here.

There is still a lot of clean up to be done and we have some yummy left overs. We haven't been able to bring ourselves to get off the couch much yet today, however. I'm feeling like I can now re-focus and get going on other holiday tasks (cards, shopping, shipping gifts, going to other people's parties). If only I could shake this fog out of my head...

Who would you be today, Timmy?

Tim Volkert 1988-2003

Who You'd Be Today - Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

Timmy Volkert was 15 years old when he passed away in his sleep. He had an enlarged heart that nobody knew about and it gave out on him in early December 2003. I remember that day like it was today. The entire community was punched in the gut and we didn't catch or breath for days, weeks, months to come.

Timmy was a hero, larger than life, to kids like my son who is now the same age that Timmy will always be, 15. He was a baseball superstar and could have been cocky and arrogant. But he wasn't. He was kind, a role model. When Payton was in 5th grade and Timmy in 8th, Payton remembers Timmy giving him a kind pat on the head and a "hey, what's up kid?" in in the hallway. In San Carlos there is a Tim Volkert award in Pony Baseball given each year to the kid who most exemplifies Tim's character; dedicated, positive, encouraging to other players, always a smile on his face, always willing to do whatever the team needs him to do, a leader. Tim got these characteristics from his parents. When we went to visit them shortly after Tim's passing, THEY hugged US, THEY comforted US. Not because we needed it, or asked for it, but because that's just who they were and how they were as a family.

I'll never forget that cold December night we spent on the baseball field at Burton Park with hundreds of other community members and friends of Tim's. The candlelight memorial, the kids who played songs on their guitars and sang for Tim. The kids who cried for him and the adults who were trying to stay strong for them.

When Payton heard the song "Who You'd Be Today" and said, "Mom, this is totally a song about Timmy," I realized that Tim's death is still very much a part of who he his, who we are. But even more important  than that, Tim's life is what we miss, what we strive to carry forward and carry with us every day.

Those Summer Nights are Callin'!

My and my boys, originally uploaded by KRob2005.

Went to the Journey, Def Leppard concert last night in Mountain View. We took both of our boys and some of their friends. It was a great night for an outdoor concert. It was warm, the bands were great, friends all over the place. This photo is of me and Payton (left) and his best friend Zack (right) in the parking lot. We tailgated before the concert with sandwiches and drinks and a good time was had by all...

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