What's That You Say, Mrs. Robinson?

Lovely Day

Waking up in Mexico, day three.

I love how I can tell where I am first thing in the morning by the sounds I hear. Those sounds have changed drastically over the past six months. In San Carlos it was mockingbirds, scrub-jays, Caltrain, and sometimes the neighbor chatting with her cat. In Gig Harbor it was Canada geese, Bald Eagles, leaf blowers and boats. In Colorado it was, well...it was pretty quiet other than the occasional footsteps overhead (the guest room was in the basement). 

Here in Sayulita, Mexico it starts with the puppies barking. There is an animal shelter right across the road and they wake with the sun. That may sound annoying but we love dogs and they aren't too loud and it only lasts a short while. Then there is the neighborhood rooster who also isn't too loud and is at least a few houses away. The rooster and the burro seem to wake at approximately the same time, so he/she hee haws a few times to ensure we are ready to start the day. The sun doesn't come up until about 8am here so the animals waking with the sun doesn't feel intrusive. There are also the occasional vehicle noises as people make their way to work and school. If it has been raining, which it almost always has as it is rainy season here, there is also the sound of water rushing down the riverbed adjacent to our home and the passing vehicles splashing through the puddles. The wild parakeets don't seem to start moving around and making noise until later in the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snapshot in time for this morning: 

• After having a fresh papaya and cup of coffee for breakfast, Dan is walking to the nearby pharmacia to purchase something to help unclog the wax in his ear created by dunking his head underwater in the pool over and over. These are the hazards we face and yes, Dan has started drinking coffee.
• I had to sweep a cricket out of the house first thing this morning and while doing so also swept a slug off of the porch. So far my critter management game has been strong. We are only day three, though. I have yet to be truly tested.
• The neighborhood cat is staring at me through the bushes. We have, not so creatively, named it "gato blanco." This is to compliment the dog who lives down the street who we have named "perro blanco." 
• I write this while sitting on the back patio listening to all of the sounds mentioned above and the song that inspired this post:

Hasta luego

Closer I Am to Fine

"I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. " - Indigo Girls

I'm about to turn 46 and I've had some turbulent years in terms of "finding myself." What I didn't know then is that I didn't need to find myself. I was there all along. I just needed to strip away all of the bullshit that was floating around in my head and listen to my soul for a while.

"Oh, THERE you are."

"I was here all along. You just forgot where I was and what I looked like."

"I remember now. Nice to see you again. Let's hang out for a while."

"Deal. I'm not going anywhere without you."

Sitting on the runway, engines reved and ready to go

I find myself feeling like a jet airplane today; full of fuel, a pilot at the helm, and on the tarmak with engines blazing and shaking slightly with all of the energy that I'm holding on to. Waiting for just the right moment to release the break and hit the throttle, I sit here ready as ever for take-off.

Background:

I have been at my current job for about seven and-a-half years. In three more weeks, I will come to the end of my journey here and will launch fully into a discovery and experimentation phase. In January I musterd up some courage and decided to leave this amazingly wonderful job that I have called home for so many years. It was a tough decision, but from the moment I made it I knew with every fiber of my being that it was the right one.

It's funny how sometimes you just KNOW something so completely.

In the past several months I have begun to ready myself for this new journey. Using the right side of my brain more predominantly than ever before, I have taken photography classes, started drawing and keeping an art journal, began writing more than ever before, and just generally giving life to that side of me.

Dan thinks I'm the "crazy pen lady" based on how many different colors of pens I keep on me at any give time and on my constant doodling and drawing while watching TV. I just can't seem to get enough color or creativity in my life right now. It's like I was stranded in the desert for so long and am now kneeling beside an ample oasis and drinking in every last drop.

One might ask, "For what purpose?" Honestly, I'm not exactly sure yet. What I AM sure of is that it gives me energy, clarity and space to think about other parts of my life. That doesn't mean I have all the answers because heaven knows there are things in my life that I'm still struggling with and trying to solve. It does mean that I feel, more than ever, like my authentic self.

And there doesn't need to be any other purose than that.

On that day, at the end of June, when I walk out of the building for the last time, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be blaring the theme from Top Gun in my car with the sunrooof open and my shades on and my hair blowing and I'll be smiling and feeling like I "feel the need....the need for speed!"

Let's just hope I don't get a ticket on the way home (or wherever I'll be headed....).

A little time for me

 

Carpe diem....had to drop a co-worker off to pick up her car at 4pm and rather than go back to the office, I decided to take some time to sit with myself and just be. I took myself to my favorite wine bar, found a table outside and ordered a delicious flatbread and some chardonnay. I opened my journal and did some writing and enjoyed the afternoon. The whole exercise took exactly one hour and I felt very refreshed and relaxed. How often do we take these opportunities to pull back and just spend time with ourselves? Not often enough.

Today is as good a day as any

Note to self:

When is a good time to start focusing on eating well, being more physically active, and paying attention to what is good for the body, and the soul?

Today.

And don't beat yourself up about all of the other times you've started and then stopped this. It's not in the falling down, it's in the getting up.

I'm getting back up.

And I'm bringing people with me. I know Dan is game for this. We have been doing good things on and off, but I will commit to making those good things happen more often. And I know that he will not only support me this time, but that we can do this together. It's a bit easier that way, you know.

And my friend Deb is doing it, too. We've only met a couple of times, but our journeys have been somewhat parallel. Go Deb! 

Today was a good start. One of the strategies that works well for me is tracking the calories I put in my body. Here is what I've had today (so far):

1 medium banana
1 cup of coffee with a teaspoon of creamer
1/2 turkey sandwich on a whole wheat roll w/lettuce, tomato, onions and peppercinis.
1 cup of fresh fruit (grapes, pineapple, honeydew and cantaloupe)
1 tall vanilla latte

I will now go to SparkPeople and enter this info and see what the damage has been how well I did today at fueling my body. And I'll find a way to get some exercise this evening.

And I'll be happy with my day. One day at a time.

Ode to the mental health day

A very wise woman told me many years ago about the virtues of what she calls "mental health days." At the time I was in my 20's and although the concept sounded great (who wouldn't want a good reason to take a day off of work?), I didn't really grasp the power of what she was saying.

I do now.

This wise woman is my Mother-in-law (one of the two fantastic people with that title that I am blessed with) and today I am taking her words of wisdom and making them a reality.

I've been totally swamped and at times overwhelmed with work in the past several months. I've also had a lot going on at home. You know, the kids, the house, the marriage. Even the great things in your life need time, attention and work to keep them healthy and happy. Add it all up and what I get is the need for a mental health day.

So here I sit at Starbucks in a comfy booth with wireless access and a power plug and a latte and an oatmeal writing a blog post for a blog that I have neglected over the past couple of years. Listening to the funky Latin music they have piped in and enjoying my morning. My plans for the day include finding some t-shirts for what I hope will be a summer that comes quickly, picking out a few lovely plants to brighten up a back yard that is also aching for the sun and the warm air, and quite possibly a nap. I'm sure there will be other activities that catch my fancy throughout the day, but I'm going to let those happen as they wish.

And throughout the day, I'm going to feed my soul. Because I deserve it.

Laughing Yoga

I was poking around trying to find some nuggets of wisdom for time-management and stress reduction for an off-site I'm putting together for some of our staff and I came across this little jem and HAD to share it with all of you. It's a little creepy, but I must admit...we could all use a little of this sillyness in our lives...so go ahead and give it a try.