So much has been running through my head during this COVID-19 "shelter-in-place" process. I've been journaling in several different places, but not here for some reason.
Observing what is happening and how people are reacting has kept my mind and soul reeling. This is an extraordinary time. Extra Ordinary. There is the observing what is happening around me, out in the world and then there is the introspection.
Here is what I'm thinking about.
Physical Touch
What strikes me most today, after just yesterday getting the additional order that this will continue until at least May 3rd, is the long-term effects of isolation. Two or three weeks is one thing. Two or three months is a whole other ballgame. I'm worried especially for people who are living alone. And especially more for those living alone who don't have pets.
Physical touch is important to humans. I know this intuitively and am now set on doing some research about the effects of not having that touch for long periods of time. I worry about the mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of people who are having to go without physical touch for months.
Meaningful Connection
I watched a video this morning on Instagram from Glennon Doyle that really spoke to me regarding the phenomenon of feeling connected to people you are far away from and feeling disconnected from people you are physically close to. You know that phenomenon of feeling completely alone in a room full of people? Anyway, she made an important point about connectedness not being related to physical proximity.
In the past three weeks, I have had more contact with more people, virtually, than I have had in a long time. Now granted, I went through chemotherapy for seven months prior to this, so my contact with folks was really limited during that time. And maybe that is why this sticks out for me. I have almost daily group video calls with extended family, weekly video calls with my BFFs from high school, daily sing-along video calls with a couple of former co-workers and LOTS of people I've never met, phone calls with family, co-workers and other friends.
And it's not just "going through the motions" connection. It's real. It's deep. We are being vulnerable with each other. We are seeing each other not in our polished states, but in our hunkered down at home states. Glennon Doyle talks about this in her video linked above and I feel it. I see it. It's remarkable and it's critical to my well-being.
Social media is also providing connection even more than before. People are engaging there in ways they haven't before. Sharing funny things, expressing concerns and asking for help. People who are normally just "lurkers" are now engaging because they are sitting at home for days and weeks on end.
This thing, this social distancing because of the COVID-19 pandemic, is a global shared experience that is tangible. It really seems like people are experiencing a global connectedness in way that they haven't been able to feel before. To some people, that comes naturally, but now it's almost forced. I hear over and over again, "We are all in this together."
The virus knows no boarders, no race, no age, no gender. It's an equal opportunity infector and in a very real way, what I do effects you and vice versa.
I hope this continues beyond this crisis. I'm making a note to myself, a challenge to myself, to keep this going after we are all able to finally come out of our homes and roam freely in the world.
Time
Tell me if this sounds familiar. "I'd love to do X, I just don't have the time to really spend on that right now."
Folks who are going through this with kids may NOT have a lot of additional time on their hands. But even they probably do have some nuggets of time that they have because they aren't commuting, aren't getting stuck in a meeting at the office, aren't running out to this conference or that event. There is SOME kind of time that is now spent at home.
I find myself having a LOT of extra time. This is in part due to my transition out of the working world, but it absolutely is also related to COVID-19 and the ensuing isolation. While we are still busy packing and getting the house ready for our renters and I'm still engaged with some work on a daily basis, I absolutely do have a lot more time on my hands.
Time has always been a luxury for me and now I find that I have time abundance. What are the things that I've said I wish I had time for? So, so many things.
Because curiosity and learning are two of my values and strengths, I signed up for two classes via Coursera. One is a class taught at Yale called "The Science of Happiness" and the other is called "Modern Art & Ideas" done by The Museum of Modern Art. I've just barely dipped my toes into each of them and they have already brought me so much joy.
This kind of activity isn't for everyone. Think about the things that you have wished you had time for. "I wish I had the time to teach my kids how to cook things" or to "get on the floor and play legos with them in a really engaged way." Or "I wish I had time to talk to my grandma and ask her about what it was like when she was growing up." Or "I wish I had time to read all of the books on my shelf." Or "I wish I had time to take a nap." Or "I wish I had time to learn the words to (insert rap song here)."
Get it?
You will probably never have more time than you do right now. And let's face it, the distraction away from the news and the sadness and anxiety going on in the world right now might be really good for you.
We ARE in this together and if we can emerge from this closer to each other and/or closer to ourselves in a positive way, the world will be a better place. Silver linings and all.
Blogging has been very therapeutic for me during this time. I live alone, but with a cat. I'm sociable, outgoing and active, so this has been excruciating for me. The worst thing is that my mind plays tricks on me. I convince myself that no one cares about me, that this crisis will never end, and that I'll be permanently paranoid because of it. I've learned that I need to reach out to others more than I've been doing. I need to tell them how lonely and isolated I feel. My boyfriend lives alone too (no pet) and is handling it OK because he's more of a loner/introvert than I am.
Posted by: Margaret | April 01, 2020 at 05:22 PM