Dear Dad

I'm about to leave work (it's 5:42 on a Friday afternoon, yes it's time), but I find myself feeling like I need to have my time planned. When I have space and time to fill I go quickly to wondering what my father is doing. Has he read my letter yet? If so, what is he thinking? The scenarios run everywhere from "he drove himself straight to the airport (or just clocked out from his station there) and got on a plane and he'll be here any minute" to "he threw it away because he has put that part of his life behind him and has moved on and does not want to go back there" and everything in between.

The everything in between is the most likely scenario.

Dear Dad,

I hope that my letter found you and that you are not too freaked out about getting it. I hope that you have people around you who care about you and who can help you think through this to come to whatever decision suits you best. I hope that you are either content enough with your life right now to just move on, or are so excited (as I am) about the possibilities that lay in front of us. Either way, I hope you can find peace with yourself and your world. Just know that whatever happens I love you very much and I don't hold anything against you.

And that the door is always open.

I think we could have a really great time getting to know each other. I think you would really love getting to know your son-in-law and your grandsons. They are all very special guys and they love me and treat me well. They also would love to know you. You have a whole family (even 2 dogs! I hope you like dogs) who has stories to share and time to spend and love to give.

Just let us know when you're ready.

Comments

[Margaret]

Kris--if it's not too personal, what did you actually write to him in the letter? No matter what he decides about contact, you have a great life and are loved. In my heart, I hope he decides to respond though. I don't know how he could NOT take the opportunity. But I'm not him and it's not my right to judge.

[mom]

Have you tried calling to see if he is on duty, or perhaps on vacation? I am with you all the way. I hope the next set of tears we share (and we have shared a lot), are happy ones.
Mom

[Betsy]

HI Kris:

I'm catching up on your blog and am praying that you will hear something from your Dad. You are a daughter I know that he would be proud to claim -- if only he is willing to try.

Yesterday I was talking with my sister (now divorced for many years) who married very young (she was 16- years old and pregnant). Her daughter, Jo Ann, has had many serious addictions in her life (alcohol, drugs) and in a recent letter to me; Jo Ann talked about her father living only one mile away and the fact that he is not interested in having any kinds of relationship with her. I know that this is painful for her and perhaps the genesis of many of her problems.

I have suggested to Jo Ann that she forgive her father and understand that it is he that is "ill" and that forgiveness will give her freedom to live her live. She is currently drug and alcohol free for the first time in 2 decades, but still struggles with this issue.

Just know that you have a family here in Gig Harbor that loves you and will always be very proud to claim you as our daughter. We love you and your family, include Nancy, Jim, Nanny and forever Poppi.

Whatever the outcome of this action, you are a brave young woman to seek to know more about the origin of your life. We are right beside you in this effort.

by the way - you need to spend some time with Greg's wife, Adrienne. She has just connected with her biological father for the first time.

Love you so much, B