Excuse Me?

First day on the new job. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was to start this new gig. Anyway, I went out and got new clothes, had my hair done (so that my new colleagues don't see how much grey I actually have), got my first french manicure, and was all geared up for my new Manager role.

However, I forgot to let my voice know that I would actually need to speak at my new job. Sure enough, 2 days before I start, I loose my freakin' voice. I sound like a 13 year old boy going through puberty (at best), and 50 year, 3 packs a day smoking veteran at my worst. Hello! Is it too much to ask that I be able to speak? Apparently so. So, all day long I go around meeting people, trying to hold a decent conversation with my new boss (who is only the CEO of the company, no big deal), and they can barely hear me. Now I'm home and my throat is on fire and Payton and Darren (my 13 and 11 year old boys) are at each other and I can't even yell at them. Dan's off at a meeting so I'm on my own. Is it unreasonable to duct tape their mouths shut so that they can't talk, too?

Comments

[GraceD]

Ma'am, back away from the couch, the box of See's candies and the TV remote and no, you may not finish up the rest of Judge Judy. It's off to your new job now. And with a French manicure (ooo-la-la!), new clothes (ooo-la-oui!) and no voice ( ).

Will email you later. In the meantime, listen up internets, this Kris, she be Girlfriend #1.

[Faith]

Congrats on the new job!! (WHATEVER you do, don't bring your own coffee pot.) It's too bad your voice picked this time to go out on you...but isn't that always the way it is? And yes, I think duct tape is a perfectly acceptable solution, especially if you use some of those cool designer colors they have.

[GraceD]

Oh, my GOD Faith, you are hysterical! Kris, however, is more brazen than you and I and she would do the Electric Slide in front of the whole company.

[Kris]

Indeed, I would...and I have (done the E. Slide infront of many co-workers)!