A wise woman, with whom I was having lunch today, gave me a great suggestion in preparation for meeting my dad for the first time later this evening.
She suggested that I spend a few minutes either in my head or on paper thinking about not what I was expecting out of our meeting, but rather about what I wanted to bring to the moment. What kind of energy am I going to possess? Center myself around my inner being and visualize where I want to be after all is said and done, regardless of what actually transpires. I'm doing this here in real time, so bear with me.
I want to bring an energy that is open to whatever needs to happen. Energy that is whole and not broken because that is who I am at the very core. I am not looking to be healed, I am not looking for answers to any questions. I am simply open to the human being in front of me and learning who and how he is. If we only have the few moments in front of us and nothing further, that that's OK. If we find a connection and share a part of our lives moving forward, then that's OK, too. It will unfold as it should.
I want to bring acceptance and understanding and vulnerability. I want to bring joy and abundance because I have so much of both.
I don't have expectations about the outcome, but I am visualizing how I want to be at the end of this weekend:
I will come away from this experience as whole as I entered it. I may be exhasuted, I may be invigorated, but either way, I will be whole. I will be richer for having experienced this time with this person. I will grow somehow closer to those that are already so close to me because we will have had this experience together. I will learn something from this person and this experience. I don't know what that is yet, but I will.
I will feel whatever I feel, and I'll be a better person for it.