What an interesting journey this is.
I've spent the last couple of weeks kind of going with the flow. The only constant in my routine has been going to the gym in the morning and working my buns off. Beyond that, each day is filled with some combination of the following:
- Being creative (painting, writing, crafting etc.)
- Running errands
- Reading (finishing up "Finding Your Own North Star")
- Going to Darren's gigs
- Spending time with family and friends
The last week or so, I've felt myself in kind of a fog. I haven't had the energy to jump into anything major, physically or mentally. I know now that this has been a liminal period ("limin" is Latin meaning threshold....between identities, not one thing or the other) and is often marked with feelings of disorientation.
I have let myself just experience these feelings without forcing myself to try to "snap out of it." This is my down time, my time to just be and to remember how to breath again. A friend of mine who also took some time off from working told me that it took him about a month to break out of the fog. After a month, his girlfriend even noticed "hey, you got your brain back!"
This makes total sense to me now. I get it. This is week 4 of my time off and I am just beginning to feel like I will soon get to the point where I can formulate a complete thought and be able to make plans and, heaven forbid, put them into action.
But now is not the time for action. Not quite yet. Now is the time for reflection and nurturing and learning. I am attempting to keep myself open to possibilities without actually committing to any of them. The opportunities and possibilities are there. I'm just not ready yet.