What's That You Say, Mrs. Robinson?

Fighting the guilt

This is both a strange and a very familiar feeling for me. The tention between knowing that I need this trip, that I deserve this trip...and the guilt that I'm going alone. That I'm being selfish.

I need to shift my vocabulary. I'm not being selfish, I'm being gentle with myself. I've been emotionally fragile for the past several months and I need to feed my soul and rest and refocus my brain.

But these waves of guilt still keep coming. It doesn't matter what the people around me tell me. I know they love me and want me to be well and that is why I'm doing this in the first place.

Perhaps once I get there I will get lost in the decadence of the moment and leave the guilt behind.

Self appreciation

Step one. Notice something possitive about yourself.

Step two. Praise yourself about it.

I love my new fingernail polish color choice.

Nicely done, Robinson. Way to take a chance on something new!

Clear Turquoise Water And White Sand

via besthawaiibeach.com

This is one of my "must" stops for me in the next couple of days. My amazing husband has given me the push I needed and tomorrow morning, off I go. Here, I hope to get re-acquainted with myself. I will practice meditation for the first time. I will read for fun, escape and self-improvement. I will give yoga a go.

And I might just sip on a lovely mai tai.

How to Pull Yourself Out of a Funk

via www.ehow.com

I've never had to deal with this before and I'm not sure if it is because I've always avoided facing difficult issues and just swept them under the rug, or if it is because I'm 40+ and going through the hormonal thing, or if it is just because...well...just because.

Either way, I'm on a journey to help myself through the funk. In the next couple of weeks I'll spend time on the beach in Hawaii de-stressing and feeding my soul, going to get a complete check up (to figure out how much of this is chemical/physical) and just trying to look at each day as a blessing.

Every day is different. Sometimes the people who make me the happiest normally, make me the saddest. I don't think that this is because they are doing anything different than before, but rather that my perception is different. My experience is different. And sometimes joy and the kindness of others comes completely out of the blue. I just never know what the day will bring.

A part of me says "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps young lady! You're not a softy so stop acting like one."

But another part of me wants to be very gentle with myself. Allow myself the space and the time to feel, think, and be vulnerable.

I'm guessing like everything else in life, the best answer is some sort of balance between the two approaches.