First I called the police station where he works today. Seems strange that a police station would have a phone number, even a non-emergency number, that would just ring with nobody to answer it.
But that's what I got. Granted, it was 8:00 pm his time and maybe after a certain time, they don't get the phone. But wouldn't you think that there would be some sort of endless loop of an answering system in place or something? Guess not.
So I tried the other number that I have. I wasn't sure if it was a home number or a cell number. I wasn't even sure that it was recent. But I tried it anyway. An answering machine did pick up this time, only it was a computer generated voice with no indication as to who was actually attached to the number.
I left a message. Vague enough that if someone else picked it up, they wouldn't get right away what I was after, but specific enough that if it WAS his number, he would understand what I was asking for.
But I still don't know that he'll get it.
Every time I decide to take the next step I go through a series of heart palpitations and feelings of having to puke and such. It's not fun and it's not pretty.
I'm sleeping pretty well, believe it or not. I think because by the time I go to bed, I'm so emotionally spent, I don't have a choice. I don't eat well during the day, though. I've lost 3 lbs in the last week.
I receive support daily. From my husband, my kids, my Mom, my in-laws, my co-workers. And I couldn't do this without any of them.
But I also get really great support from people that I have never actually met. My comrades from the internets. You guys rock. I get Twitters and direct messages and Facebook notes and comments on this blog from folks who freely send me their kind words and thoughts and stories and I appreciate it like you will never know.